A client sits with a painful memory. They have brought up the image, identified the belief connected to it, and begun processing. For a while, their experience shifts. Then they return to the same conclusion:
“It was my fault.”
Another set passes.
“I should have known.”
Another set.
“I should have stopped it.”
As therapists, we can feel an urge to explain why the client is not responsible. We may see the difference between what the client believes and what the facts suggest. But telling someone what to believe does not necessarily help them experience it as true.
A carefully chosen question can create a different opening:
“How old were you when that happened?”
The client answers, “Eight.”
“What would you expect an eight-year-old to be able to do in that situation?”
The question may allow them to see the memory from a perspective that was difficult to access while they were inside it. The therapist has not erased the memory or supplied a conclusion. The client has an opportunity to discover something for themselves.
That is the heart of a cognitive interweave: a brief, intentional intervention offered when a client’s processing is blocked and additional information or perspective may help it move again.
Cognitive interweaves are an established component of EMDR therapy developed by Francine Shapiro, PhD. This book builds on that foundational concept by offering original metaphors and example interweaves designed to help clinicians consider different ways to support a client when processing becomes blocked. The examples are illustrative, not standardized or independently validated scripts.
A metaphor can offer an image that allows the client to approach an experience from another angle. When a metaphor and an interweave are paired thoughtfully, the metaphor creates a doorway and the question invites the client to decide what, if anything, is on the other side.
Understanding cognitive interweaves
In EMDR therapy, cognitive interweaves are therapist-initiated questions, statements, or instructions used selectively when processing becomes stuck. They can introduce information, help the client access knowledge they already possess, or bring attention to a distinction that has been difficult to recognize.
A client might be stuck because they:
- Continue to assign themselves responsibility for another person’s actions.
- Experience the danger of the past as though it is happening in the present.
- Cannot identify choices or resources available to them now.
- Feel unable to extend compassion to the younger version of themselves.
- Repeatedly return to the same conclusion without a meaningful shift.
An interweave is not a speech. It is usually brief, specific, and responsive to what the client is experiencing. The therapist offers it, invites the client to notice what comes up, and returns to processing according to their training and the client’s response.
The purpose is not to lead the client to the answer the therapist prefers. It is to help make adaptive information accessible when the client cannot reach it on their own.
Why clients can become stuck
A person can understand something intellectually and still experience it very differently in their body and emotions. A client may say, “I know I was a child, but I still feel like I should have protected everyone.”
That gap matters. The client’s logical understanding may be available when discussing the event from a distance but harder to access when the memory is activated. An interweave may help connect information that already exists with the experience being processed.
At other times, the client may genuinely lack information. A child who experienced neglect, for example, may never have learned what a child could reasonably expect from a caregiver. In another situation, the client may be facing a real present-day danger and need practical support rather than a question intended to change their interpretation.
Being stuck is not a failure. It is information. The therapist’s task is to notice the pattern, consider what may be missing, and respond with care.
What makes a helpful interweave?
A helpful interweave is:
- Connected to the client’s actual block. If the client is struggling with responsibility, a question about safety may not address the issue.
- Brief enough to leave room for the client. A long explanation can pull attention away from the client’s own processing.
- Curious rather than persuasive. “Could there be another way to understand that?” offers more room than “You need to realize it wasn’t your fault.”
- Developmentally appropriate. A question must fit the client’s age, language, culture, and ability to engage with it.
- Grounded in the facts. Do not assume someone is safe, had a choice, or has support without assessing their actual circumstances.
- Offered only when needed. If the client’s experience is moving, the therapist may not need to intervene at all.
The question is not, “What can I say next?” The question is, “What does this client need in order to continue processing?”
Why metaphors can help
A metaphor describes one experience through another. It can make an abstract feeling more concrete and offer enough distance for a client to examine something that otherwise feels overwhelming.
Consider a client who believes that asking for help means they have failed. The therapist could challenge the belief directly. Or, if it fits the client, the therapist might offer:
“Imagine someone carrying a heavy table up a flight of stairs. If they ask another person to help carry it, does that mean they failed, or does it mean they recognized the weight was too much for one person?”
The client may be able to consider the situation differently when it is represented by a table rather than their own life. If the image resonates, the therapist can connect it back to the client’s experience:
“What happens when you consider that asking for help with your children might be like asking someone to help carry the table?”
The client may feel relief, disagreement, sadness, or something unexpected. Any of those responses can provide useful information. The goal is not to make the metaphor work. The goal is to notice what happens when it is offered.
A metaphor is an invitation, not a conclusion
The same metaphor can land differently with different people. A “safe harbor” may sound comforting to one client and bring up a frightening boating experience for another. A “protective wall” may represent survival for one person and isolation for someone else.
Whenever possible, draw from the client’s own language, interests, and images. If a client says, “I feel like I’m walking on eggshells,” that phrase may offer a better starting point than a metaphor the therapist brought into the room.
You can also ask permission:
“An image comes to mind. Would you be open to hearing it?”
If the metaphor does not resonate, let it go. The client does not need to understand it, agree with it, or use it for the session to be successful.
The four common themes
Many blocks can be explored through four broad themes. They are a way to organize clinical thinking, not a rigid checklist. More than one may be present at the same time.
1. Responsibility: “It was my fault.”
The client may hold themselves responsible for what another person did or for an outcome they could not control.
Metaphor: A child is handed a backpack filled with rocks that belong to someone else. Carrying the weight does not make the rocks theirs.
Possible interweaves:
- “Which parts of this were actually within your control?”
- “Who made the choice to act that way?”
- “If another child had been in that situation, would you hold them responsible?”
The point is not to assume the client had no responsibility in every situation. It is to examine responsibility accurately, compassionately, and in context.
2. Safety: “I am still in danger.”
Past experiences can shape the way a person responds to reminders in the present. The first question, however, is whether the client is currently safe. Their concern may reflect an actual ongoing threat.
Metaphor: A smoke alarm may remain highly sensitive after a fire. It is trying to warn the household, but each alarm still needs to be checked to determine whether there is a present fire.
Possible interweaves, when present safety has been assessed:
- “What is different about where you are now compared with where you were then?”
- “How old are you now?”
- “What do you notice around you in this room?”
3. Choice and control: “I have no options.”
Someone who once had little or no control may have difficulty recognizing choices that exist today. The therapist should also recognize that present choices can be limited by finances, relationships, health, discrimination, or safety.
Metaphor: A person once stood in a room with only one door, and it was locked. They may enter a different room years later and feel trapped before noticing that there are other doors. Some may be difficult to open, but they can begin by looking.
Possible interweaves:
- “What choices, if any, do you have now that you did not have then?”
- “Is there one small step available to you, even if the larger situation is not fully in your control?”
- “Who could help you consider the options?”
4. Self-worth: “I am not enough.”
A client may interpret rejection, mistreatment, or loss as evidence that something is fundamentally wrong with them.
Metaphor: A valuable painting can be mishandled or placed in a room where no one sees it clearly. How it was treated does not determine its worth.
Possible interweaves:
- “Does someone else’s inability to treat you with care determine your value?”
- “What did you need in that moment that you did not receive?”
- “Could what happened say something about the other person’s choices without defining who you are?”
Use care with value-based metaphors. Some clients may experience an image of a damaged object as reinforcing shame. Their response matters more than the therapist’s intention.
From metaphor to interweave
A useful pairing often follows a simple progression:
- Identify the client’s stuck point.
- Choose an image connected to that specific experience.
- Offer the image briefly, with permission when appropriate.
- Ask one question that opens a possible new perspective.
- Invite the client to notice their response and return to processing.
For example:
Stuck point: “If my partner leaves, I will fail my children.”
Metaphor: “Imagine trying to build a bridge across a river. Looking at the entire distance may feel overwhelming, but the bridge can be built one plank at a time, with help.”
Interweave: “If you faced that situation, would you need to know every step right away, or could you learn and reach for support as you went?”
Return to the client: “Notice what comes up.”
The metaphor does not promise the future will be easy. It offers room to consider that uncertainty and capability can exist together. If practical concerns are present, they also deserve attention outside the metaphor.
When not to use an interweave
Not every pause, emotional reaction, or difficult moment means processing is blocked. A client may be experiencing meaningful shifts that are not immediately visible. Silence may be part of the work.
An interweave may be unhelpful when:
- The client’s processing is continuing without assistance.
- The therapist is uncomfortable with the client’s emotion and wants to move them away from it.
- The question pressures the client to forgive, reconcile, leave a relationship, or adopt a particular belief.
- The client’s immediate need is stabilization, grounding, safety assessment, or practical support.
- The metaphor conflicts with the client’s experience or feels minimizing.
If the client becomes overwhelmed, disconnected, or unable to remain sufficiently present, follow your training and clinical judgment for stabilization and closure. An interweave is not a substitute for preparation or an individualized treatment plan.
How to use this book
The chapters ahead are organized around experiences clinicians may encounter, such as betrayal, loss, fear, and self-doubt. Each metaphor and question is intended as a starting point, not a script that must be delivered word for word.
As you read, consider:
- What is the client experiencing right now?
- What belief or missing perspective appears connected to the block?
- Is this metaphor consistent with the client’s culture, language, and lived experience?
- Am I making space for the client’s own answer?
- Is an intervention needed, or can I allow processing to continue?
The words in this book are tools. Their value depends on timing, relationship, and the person sitting across from you.
A final thought
Healing does not require the therapist to have the perfect metaphor. It requires us to be present enough to recognize when a client may need another way to approach what feels impossible to move through.
Sometimes a single question creates that opening. Sometimes the most helpful choice is to wait. In either case, the client remains at the center of the work.
Author’s note
Unless otherwise credited, the metaphors and example interweaves in this book were developed for this guide. They are informed by the broader clinical concept of cognitive interweaves and are intended to be adapted to each client’s needs, history, and circumstances. Familiar clinical questions or similar metaphors may also appear in other sources.
Foundational reference
Shapiro, F. (2018). Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) therapy: Basic principles, protocols, and procedures (3rd ed.). Guilford Press.
Clinical note: This guide is intended for clinicians and does not replace EMDR training, consultation, an established protocol, or individualized clinical judgment.
Also available: Chapter 14 · Betrayal and Relationship Trauma